Why do I run myself around in these circles anyways? for months now I have been single and happy. Yes maybe not happy like I want to be but mas o menos which is better then depressed. Now I avoid happiness.. and when a chance for it shows up on my door step I get excited for a couple minutes then realize why I am still alone. Yes I am cute, reliable, friendly, hard worker, a great cook, tender hearted and waiting to care but I easily put the women in me behind a closed door, She is so far locked away that I don't know if I'll ever been able to let her truly out. I keep finding the relationships that have no realistic potential because of one thing mainly: distance and go for those. I can truly say I have never dated a man that lived in the same town as me? Maybe it is the military left over in me, mostly I think it is me not wanting to give up my freedom. Becasue even though some part of me hopes for change; most of me knows nothing would ever change and for a couple weekends I might not be alone..
How long have I been doing this? I am at the point now I don't build hope..

Where there any real relationships I left behind?

Do I stay in those ones I know well fail for so long that I miss a real opportunity?

Well I ever been able to release my self from this cage again?